Fitness: Working out or just work?

While our experiences and approaches to fitness couldn’t be more different, our bottom line is the same: the point of being fit, especially in your fifties, is to be able to do whatever you wanna do. From hard and heavy (Cheryl) to slow and steady (Stasha), from physical strength (Cheryl) to mental toughness (Stasha), we breakdown the hows and whys of working out, working hard, and working hard enough keep kicking ass. With a cocktail in one hand and maybe a dumbbell in the other, we get real about getting and staying fit.     

Stasha: Grapefruit Margarita

·         2 oz. of Jose Cuervo® Tradicional® Plata
·         1 1/2 oz. ruby red grapefruit juice (Fresh is best, but let’s be real here; good quality store-bought is fine.)
·         2 teaspoons of agave nectar (more or less) to taste 
·         1 grapefruit cut in wedges
·         Salt or sugar for rim
 Rub a slice of lime around the edge of the glass and then dip the rim of the glass lightly in a plate of salt or sugar. Set aside to dry. 
Add the grapefruit juice, Jose Cuervo® and agave nectar into a cocktail shaker. 
Shake.
Pour over ice and enjoy!

https://cuervo.com/cocktail-recipes/pink-grapefruit-margarita/

  Cheryl: Classic Margarita

 ·         1 lime wedge
·         Coarse sea salt, optional
·         1-1/2 ounces Blanco tequila
·         1 ounce Triple Sec
·         1/2 ounce freshly-squeezed lime juice
 Moisten rim of 1 cocktail glass with lime wedge. 
If desired, sprinkle salt on a plate; dip rim in salt. 
Fill glass with ice.

In an empty cocktail shaker, combine tequila, Triple Sec and lime juice. Fill with ice; cover and shake until frost forms on the outside of the shaker, 15-20 seconds. 

Strain into prepared glass. 

Garnish with lime wedge.

 https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/classic-margarita/

Transcript

Stasha: 0:00

Hi there I'm Stasha.

Cheryl: 0:02

I'm Cheryl.

Stasha: 0:03

And between us, we have

Cheryl: 0:04

four kids,

Stasha: 0:06

three businesses,

Cheryl: 0:07

two husbands, and one goal.

Stasha: 0:09

To get to the point of the matter.

Cheryl: 0:10

First of all, fitness to me means that you can do what you want to do in life and not be held back from anything.

SFX: 0:17

[record scratch]

Stasha: 0:24

I have to come to the fact that other people are going to think shitty thoughts about me working out and being fit. And there was nothing I can do about that. Oh, wow. That's new. It just said"recording in progress."

Cheryl: 0:37

I, that is new.

Stasha: 0:39

I'm glad because it needs to, to let me know this stuff because otherwise I mess it up. Alrighty. All right. All right. All right. We are off for another adventure, Cheryl.

Cheryl: 0:52

Hello, dear. Stasha.

Stasha: 0:53

How was your week, honey?

Cheryl: 0:56

It was a s hitty, shitty week.

Stasha: 1:01

So sorry. I'm so sorry. And just to kind of give that the quick, you know, thirty second wrap up. Why was it so shitty?

Cheryl: 1:12

Well, I won't get into all the details, but I'll tell you how my week ended. How about that? So our main street is kind of like yours with all the shops and the restaurants. And you can either parallel park or you can pull into your parking spot and yes, this is another parking story. Yes, it is. so I pair, I parallel parked. So I'm g ood. I'm in my car. I'm about to back up a nd, and this woman across from me is honking her horn and I'm like, what's going on? What's going on? I'm looking around. I'm not seeing anything. I'm like, are you, are you honking at me? And she goes, yes. She goes, roll your window down. S he's making this motion. So I r oll my window down and she goes, I'm like, what the hell is going on? C ause I had had a bad week.

Stasha: 2:08

Yes.

Cheryl: 2:09

And she goes, don't back up. I'm like, what do you mean? Don't back up? And she goes, there's a man behind your back tire. I said, literally. And she said, yeah. So I put it in park. I get out. And on the passenger side rear tire from the time that I had gone shopping and come back, a guy had passed out from drinking moonshine. I almost, dude! I almost ran over his head.

Stasha: 2:40

Oh my God.

Cheryl: 2:42

She stopped me in time. Or I would, if I would have run over him.

Stasha: 2:45

Oh my God. So glad that you are the kind of person that would roll that window down and go"what!?!?"

Cheryl: 2:55

So I called the cops and because I could not get him to wake up, or move, or anything. I did check his vitals. He was alive and the police came and they were like, yeah, we know I won't say name, but we know...Otis.

Stasha: 3:14

Yeah. Yeah.

Cheryl: 3:16

And so we'll call an ambulance and get him home. But his, his container that he had been drinking out of was laying beside him. So I pi cked t hat up and smelled it and I was like, wow, like 90 proof moonshine. It was really strong. So yeah, that's how my week en ded.

Stasha: 3:37

That is such a mountain story. Even if you live in the mountainous south, I'm just saying it kind of shows. Well really quickly. We'll clink our beverages of the evening and then we're going to the same thing. We both got the margarita. Once again, yours is salt-free. I am, you know, I just love the salt. So good for me.

Cheryl: 4:00

Today's episode. Well, how was your week? I'm sorry.

Stasha: 4:04

My week has actually been, all things considered very, we've had a very active week socially. went up t o s e e m y parents, o n Sunday, that was abs olutely fa ntastic. they have a neighbor who, th a t that's actually the house where Mike and I got married. And so we know this family, we've known them for a long time and every Sunday they have cocktails on the deck and everything. right now one of the members of this family, very close knit family, is ve r y sick and, was di a gnosed with all my very severe form of cancer. And he took his last chemo treatment. And so, and he's like, you know, we're at the point where it's like, there, th ere i s nothing more to do. I just want now more good days than bad days. So we're not here to be in morning. We are here to celebrate being alive. And, and so we got to just sit there and sit with him and be with him and his family and, and be reminded of how important health is and to never take it for granted.

Cheryl: 5:04

Yes.

Stasha: 5:04

That was an amazing, yeah. Yeah. So that's, that's, that was my, that was the real, I think that was the magic moment. The topper event of, of my week, you know,

Cheryl: 5:15

I'm sorry about your close, close family friends.

Stasha: 5:19

And you were at the house at the wedding. They were there. Yeah. So anyway, that's, that was where mine is like that reminder about how important it is to be alive and healthy and how it's not something that everybody gets to have. So let's talk about that. We are here today, ladies and gents, to talk about fitness. Fitness in your fifties, Cheryl.

Cheryl: 5:40

One of my favorite subjects.

Stasha: 5:42

and tell'em why.

Cheryl: 5:46

Well first all fitness to me means that you can do what you want to do in life and not be held back from anything. So you get to hike 15 miles or you get to play with your grandchild or play with your dog or your pet or whatever it is, whatever it is you want to do and like to do you have the ability to do that because you are in that, in the shape that allows you to do that. You're not sedentary, you're not c apped. You know? So, fitness is something I do every single day. So it's a seven day a week commitment for me. How about you? How do you feel about fitness in general?

Stasha: 6:33

Well, and, and for me, it's, it's, it's funny cause you and I have talked about this before. So like for me, fitness is kind of a fraught subject because when you're a person like me, I am, if anybody looks at me, I'm overweight. And so for everyone who looks at me assumes that I am not fit that I am not that I haven't been fit. But I was overweight when I was, mountain biking up mountains. I was overweight when I was taking karate classes and working my way up to, you know, the belt levels. I was overweight when I was dancing. I was overweight when I was an actress, I was, I have always been overweight. And at the same time, I've always been pretty fit. Now there was one part of my l ife when I really was not, now I thought I was absolutely fat, but I wasn't. I was thin at that point, but we joke about it because that was probably the time of my life when I was physically my least fit, because I basically survived on cigarettes and Chardonnay. I mean, that was, that was my entire routine. But I was young. You know, the body can do a lot when they're, when they're in their twenties. It's like, when you start getting into your forties and fifties, you know, you now have to, you can't take that shit for granted no more. You have to work at it. If you're going to maintain fitness. And I agree, it's like that, that definition of fitness is to be able to do what you want to d o. You kno w, to go where you want to go. Now, I personally am very fortunate. I have no desire to climb Mount Everest. So I don't have to be at that level of fitness. I have no desire to, you know, take on Serena Williams and ten nis. So I don't have to be at that level of fitness, but I do want to, you know, if I, if I want to go for a hike, I wanna be able to go or r id e my bike, I want to be able to go. And Mike and I our phrase that we've had before, when we'll, we' ll go out for a bike ride or for a walk or something, we'll say, you know what, especially when you don't feel like going, the phras e is" t he re's gonna come a day when I can't do this. Today is not that day."

Cheryl: 8:35

Right. So that's our thought about to keep going?

Stasha: 8:38

Yeah. Hell yeah.

Cheryl: 8:41

Well, let's talk about how people look and, and pointing to them or looking at them and saying, oh, that person is thin. They must be in shape. Or that person is a little heavier. They must be in shape. That is such a fallacy. It is such a fallacy. A nd you know, I was telling you that I do CrossFit and there are so many different body types and weights and abilities in CrossFit. It's so wide range. And, and you cannot assume by how somebody looks that they are in shape or fit by just how they look. You cannot do that.

Stasha: 9:25

But here's the thing for, for our listeners that can't see us, you know, since we are a podcast, one of the things that about Cheryl and I, and again, we've known each other since we were five or six, Cheryl is thin. She has always been thin. Now there's a time when you said you'd gained a few pounds and you didn't like it, you know? But even when you were like 25 pounds heavier, you looked thin. Not skinny, but not, no one would look at you and say, oh my God, she's so pudgy., No one. I, on the other hand, I h a ve always had, you kn o w, t he little bit of belly rol l of ne ver been quite thin enough for roles, you know, all sorts of.... I am. If you took one, look at me, you would say, yeah, this woman is overweight. God, I hate that term. But, b u t that's what people, but, bu t there's no getting around that. And I t hink that for a lot of our listeners, when you start talking to women like me who are carry extra weight, and again, God knows I have tried, I have worked, I have dieted. I have done all of those things. I have worked out till I w as blue in the face. Weight is a lw ays been and always will be an issue for me. I h ave to come to the fact that other people are going to think shitty thoughts about me working out and being fit. And there was not hing I can do about that. No amount of working out is ever going to change their opinion, no amount of pulling out my, you know, my, bl o od work and whatever is ever going to make them feel better. Hell the doctors don't feel better. That, I me an, I ca n go in with an earache and they'll say,"Hey, have you thought about losing weight?" And it's like, no, but the, n o, I've never, that's never crossed my mind. But to be f it when you don't look fit is more of a mental game than it really is a physical game.

Cheryl: 11:15

I agree. How do you feel about yourself as far as your fitness level? How do you feel don't, don't think about what other people are telling you or putting on you that's that's on them. How do you feel?

Stasha: 11:30

Well right now, I think we talked about this a little bit in the menopause episode, you know, I have been, things have been shifting and changing and suddenly I'm, I'm weaker than I was before. I've have fat i n places that I had it before, but there's more now, so that's a problem. But for the most part, you know, if I want to go for a bike ride, I can go. If I want to go for a walk, I can go. There was a period of time, about five years ago when I started getting these weird random pains and I had to give up the karate, some of the more aggressive things that I like to do. I'm not a person that's very soft and you know, likes to do bouncy, bouncy, ae robics s o much. I loved karate. I liked punching things. I liked kicking things. That's what I lo ved. Oh my God. I was in my element. But thanks to your advice. I did take my first AquaZoomba class.

Cheryl: 12:25

and.

Stasha: 12:27

I gotta tell you it was awesome. I mean, first of all, to be able to like, to work out in water where it isn't so hard on your joints is amazing. It's absolutely fantastic. But it is, i t's here i n my local, my community pool, which is like a, like a block or so from my house. But I am-- at the age of 50 something-- I am the youngest, most delicate flower in the pool.

Cheryl: 12:49

You're not a delicate flower. I don't agree with that.

Stasha: 12:53

Compared to, you know, some of the folks I'm working out with. Yeah. Pretty much. But the thing is though it was, it was a really good workout. I really enjoyed it. And you know, and I'm in Florida, so it's going to be super hot here pretty soon. And I, when I go, whether you go for a walk or a bike ride or whatever, when it starts to get the, you know, 95 degrees and 98% humidity exercising outside is not any fun. And I do yoga inside. But if that's all you're doing all summer, that's boring. So I'm really excited. It's like the AquaZoomba class was fun and I'm going to do Aqua aerobics and there's an Aqua bootcamp that starts up next week.

Cheryl: 13:32

That would be a lot of fun. Yeah.

Stasha: 13:34

But tell us about, but here's the thing, people, Cheryl, Cheryl just said that she does, bootcamp. I mean a, a CrossFit S heryl. Tell h im what your actual describe your workout routine and t hen what you do for fitness.

Cheryl: 13:50

Well, and I realize that I am privileged enough that I have the time to do this. So that's another thing I would say is that incorporate into your day, what you have time for that will give you the most enjoyment and the most bang for your buck, right? If you only have 20 minutes do something that you can do within 20 minutes, that i t w ill get your heart rate up, c ause you to sweat. That's a good litmus test on how hard you're working so that you do get that cardio because you need, your heart i s a muscle t oo. You need to work your heart, just like you work your bicep. Right. So that getting that heart level up and your sweat going is a really important thing. So, okay. Having said that I do CrossFit at nine, which what I like about CrossFit and why it suits my personality b ecause I'm, I'm borderline attention deficit, I think, ADD, I am borderline. I can, I can bring it in when I need to, but oftentimes I'm running at, you know, miles an hour.

Stasha: 14:57

They didn't diagnosis back in the day. They told us to behave.

Cheryl: 15:01

Yeah, exactly. so I have to get my energy out and it, and it helps if I do that in the morning. So I'm a morning person. So I go do that at nine and CrossFit's basis is functional movements. So you're doing functional movements and Olympic weight lifting. And you're doing it varied. So you do different workouts every day. Nothing is ever the same. And there are so many different combinations you can put together. I never get bored. So I li ke t hat. I also like that it challenges me mentally and physically. Because I like to have a challenge. I like to, whatever I accomplish, I want to then go to the next level and accomplish even more. And CrossFit allows me to do that.

Stasha: 15:54

You guys did a competition, you talked to Brian and do a competition like a couple of weeks ago.

Cheryl: 15:58

Yeah. We did a competition where you had to do four workouts. It was on a Saturday. You did four different workouts with about an hour and a half in between. And we were competing against, seven, seven other couples. It was a c o-ed team. We came in fifth, which I was really disappointed in. However, it was our first time doing it. And I learned a lot and we wi ll k now better how to g et into it and, and do better the next time. We learned, we learned the st rategy, things that we didn't know that we needed to know in other words.

Stasha: 16:36

And for me, it's very funny because I am of all the things I'm, I'm surprisingly noncompetitive. And it's not that I'm, I don't care at all, but it's like, for me, if everybody is like, it's like going out for a hike. If everybody leaves and everybody comes back, that's a success. If you didn't lose somebody on the trail. You know, everybody and everybody lives through the hike, you know, that's, that's, that's success to me who goes out first and who goes back last, I don't care. Did you have a good time? Is what I care about? did you get something out of that experience? I care about that, but I'm just, I'm just very surprisingly no ncompetitive. It's weird. Ca use l ike, I don't even, it's not that I don't even care for sports. And it's not that I don't appreciate them and don't like them, but I don't care who wins. And here's the problem. So I've actually been uninvited to su per b o wl p arties be cause I have the horrible propensity to root for whoever has the ball. And they're like,"You can't do that! It's th e S uper Bowl! You have to pick a team!!" I'm like, yeah, but what ab out, wa s i t a spectacular play? And they're like, no, that's not how this work go, go, go sit over there, go, go out on the porch, go do something. You are not invited anymore. But, but so th that, having that, that when it comes to fitness, I think for people who are like you, who really enjoy that competition, they get it, they get a jam out of it. And whether it's competing by playing tennis, so was individually competing against another person. Or like you said, it's competing against your own time against your own abilities. Those folks, especially people that are our age, w ho, who know that about themselves, but perhaps it's never really been appreciated or they haven't really really grown into it. That's a great way to think about fitness. It's like, you don't have to get fit for somebody else. You can do it because you enjoy, you get a sense of accomplishment from either the external competition or the internal competition. For people like me, who don't quite, that's just not your jam, for me, It's sort of like, I just wa nt t o b e able to go and enjoy myself. So whatever I do, in a fitness world, it's gotta be enjoyable. And--I don't want to go on too long about this, but this is a really important bit--is that for me when I was coming up a gain, because I was an actor, I was, I worked very hard. And again, my, my best friend when I was like elementary and middle school and into high school was this skinny slip of a girl with blonde hair and yourya know real athletic abilities. And I did not. Yo u k now, I was heavier. So when I started working out, it was because I was trying to lose weight. An d to me, working out, working out eq uates w ith punishment. I have to work out because that's what you do to pay for being fat. And I lived with that for decades. That was what I thought, you know, I had, I have, I have to work out, I have to go do this. I have to sweat. I have to try. And then when I would get tired and wouldn't want to do it anymore, people would come around and says like,"oh, well you just need to work out more. You need to lift weights. You gotta do cardio. You gotta do this. You gotta do that." And I'm like, I can't keep doing this to myself. So about 10 years ago or less, I guess a little less. I finally just woke up and said, you know, guys, I'm done. If I don't enjoy it, I'm not going to do it. I'm just not, I am not going to kill myself. I am not going to, I'm not going to put anybody else's judgment on my shoulders, whatever I do, I have to enjoy doing it. And the moment I don't, I stop.

Cheryl: 20:15

And I, I, and that's true for me too. I have to enjoy it. I also don't feel like, I'm, I'm glad that you got to that space. Ca use I, I don't like it when people equate it to a negative thing, because it's so important how we take care of ourselves is so important. Fitness falls into that category. So it has to be whatever works for you because I, so if you and I went on a hike together, you wo uld, you wouldn't, you would hate me. You would be like, I'm wearing the we ighted t hat I do when I, wh en I...

Stasha: 20:56

We just did this! And I just did this like a couple months ago. Tell'em about it. Tell'em all about it.

Cheryl: 21:02

I'm wearing a weighted v est. We got to keep our walk under 15 minutes, preferably around the 14 minute mark. I, it does matter who goes out first and who c omes back last?

Stasha: 21:13

I thought you were wearing a a Bulletproof vest. I thought you were like, we were like hiking in the north Georgia mountains. And you were worried about gunfire, but now, so we go out, keep going. So we take off, off, we go off,

Cheryl: 21:25

Off we go. And I'm like, oh, this is a great pace. Right? And you're like, no, this is not fun for me. I'll meet you back at the house. And I'm like, okay, cool. I'll see you when we get back.

Stasha: 21:37

But that's something that I think that's important. And jump in here a nd tell you, if you agree with this is that I was... I can go a long way. I can walk forever. I can. I just can't do it quickly. You, on the other hand, because you have goals that you're trying to set, you have times that you're working on an d, and distance,s for you, it was important to keep up that pace. And that speed. I think the important thing for people to remember is that the other person gets to have what they want. You know, yo u, and I think sometimes people are afraid of letting somebody down or embarrassing themselves. And here's the th ing. If somebody will try, try and shame you for whatever your physical abilities are, then people can go fuck themselves.

Cheryl: 22:20

Exactly.

Stasha: 22:21

Especially if they're fit, especially if they're fit and they're really good at it. And they're looking at you and you might be more out of shape, or you might be older, or you might have physical challenges and they're sitting there like looking down on you? That person gets a special fuck you from me because that's yeah.

Cheryl: 22:41

Yes, it is not okay to view anybody. And especially if, if you're trying and you're doing what you enjoy doing, and you're out there doing something.

Stasha: 22:52

Yes!

Cheryl: 22:54

And halleluiah to you because that's where it should be. It's a very, fitness is a very personal thing. Very personal. It's like having your hair done or choosing your clothes, it's very, very personal to you. So it's important that you do what works for your body. Number one. A nd, and what brings you that sense of accomplishment, challenge and a level of fitness that you can do what you want to do in life. Everybody's goal is different and that's okay. I, I am a very competitive person, but I'm competitive more with myself right now with my husband. I'm like,"what time did you get? H ow m any reps and everything did you get in" with him. We feed off of each other that way. That's a good competition for us, but with my friends and everybody else, if you're out there doing it, praise be to you because it takes time, it takes commitment. It takes getting out and doing it when you don't feel like doing it sometimes. And so if you're doing something that's awesome.

Stasha: 24:11

And I, I, you actually said something a minute ago that I, I kinda like picked up on and it was like about being privileged to be able to...'Cause you dedicate two hours a day to your workouts and your fitness. And it's true. It's like, you know, if you have that kind of ability to take it, that kind of time I do too. You know, if I wanted to, I c ould put two hours a day into working out. I don't want t o. It's not enjoyable.

Cheryl: 24:33

It's not.. It's not enjoyable to you.

Stasha: 24:38

It's that I have other things I want to do. We all only have so many hours in a day. Right. And so for somebody who finds, you know, the, that two hours truly enjoyable and meaningful and is taking them in the direction they want to go, man, you rock on with your bad self! More power to ya. But for the person who's like,"you know what? I looked at my life. I truly have 20 minutes. I can only give this 20 minutes", Awesome! Give it your best 20, you know, and, and have fun with that 20, like you said, you know, do something that either, maybe like on day one, that's like, you know, you'll, you'll do some... And I, I'm not a big fan of like paying a lot of money for fitness. I have, I mean, I have, I have, at one point I was taking karate. I had a personal trainer. We were doing al l, I w a s d o ing a ll sorts of other things. And it was like between the multiple things. I think at one point I figured out I was get ting li ke 350,$400 a month on this and at the time, fine. But now I have become, I have a yoga app that I love. I love my DDP, yoga, DDP, yoga. For those of you guys who don't know, look up Diamond Dallas Page, it is not your mam a's yo ga. It is not soft and fluffy and all this kind of stuff. It's he is very focused on working with people where they are. And for those of you who don't know who diamond Dallas page is, he is a former world champion wrestler. I love him. I do that. I do my walks. I love walking. Mike and I still ride our bikes. He does more of that. Now. He he's biking is primarily his exercise. Occasionally he goes for walks with me. I recently picked up, like I said, the, th e A qua Zumba, which I love. and it, my little, because I live in the city of my town, they have thi s aq uatics program and for residents, it's$3 a class.

Cheryl: 26:28

Wow. That's really cheap.

Stasha: 26:32

Holy cow. plus the price of the world's ugliest bathing suit that I had to purchase. A nd I'm just going to, I'm going to digress for a moment, Cheryl. Stay with me for a second.

Cheryl: 26:39

I gotcha.

Stasha: 26:40

Ladies, I know a lot of you who are like me, who are a little bit heavier who have gone into the, into the shops to buy something and finding something in your size was hard enough to begin with, but then, buying bathing suits like takes, you know, a fist full of Xanax, you know, a shot of Jack Daniels, you know, and 15 minutes of prayer before you can go in there. I actually went in, I had to buy a bathing suit to do the Aqua Zoomba class with, because my bathing suit, which was a, l ike a two piece t hat had like the bottoms and t he, the, the top that comes all the way down, but I'm doing Aqua Zoomba. It's floating up. It's pulling over. The s houlders a re falling off. I'm like, oh my God, this is not g onna work. So I went to buy an aqua zoomba bathing suit. I'm going to have to take a picture and just show you this thing. It is the ugliest grandma bathing suit you have ever seen in your life. Now it has my colors. It's got my purples and my blue colors, but it is, honestly, girl, if somebody saw me in this and actually plenty of people do, but if somebody saw me in this that I actually knew truly, I would have to like, tell them, fuck you twice because I'm like, this is all I had. This was my choice. That's all they had for me. I had to make peace with it.

Cheryl: 27:54

Again. You're out there doing it. I would care less about that and more about what am I getting out of this? I think that's the more important thing.

Stasha: 28:03

Yeah. But I think that's, that's the hard mental part. For a person who has, especially in our age range, you've spent a lifetime dealing with this. It's hard to put it in that bathing suit. There are women that I know there are people that I know--we live in Florida--who have not been to the beach in 20 years because they just can't bring themselves to put on a bathing suit and be in public. And isn't that just the saddest thing.

Cheryl: 28:30

It's the saddest thing, because, and do you feel like age kind of helps with that? Where you get to the I'm 50 now I'm 55, but I'm saying when you get into your late forties and fifties, don't you kind of get to the point where you're going, fuck it. I, I only have... Half of my life is over with. I'm going to start having a good time. I'm going to stop caring, caring about what other people think and say about me and I'm going to do what the fuck I want when the fuck I want to do it. And start having a good time. Yes.

Stasha: 29:09

Yes. But there is a very... There's two paths to that thought process.

Cheryl: 29:14

Okay.

Stasha: 29:14

Path number one is,"I deserve to go to the beach. I, I am fine. I love myself. I love my life. I love my family. I want to go. So I can't care about what these other people say anymore. I am closer to the grave than I am to the cradle. I got to go do something." That's one path. The other path is"I give up. I'm defeated. It doesn't matter anymore. I've lost all... I missed all those chances. I have to let them all go." Forgive me. I'm getting a little misty.

Cheryl: 29:48

That's okay.

Stasha: 29:48

I was very close to that right path. And now I get, about nine or 10 years ago,I really started working very hard and very hard. I mean, I read books, I got podcasts. I listened to... I, I did everything I could to make sure, to try to find a way to get to a positive place. A lot of women don't.

Cheryl: 30:20

A lot of women don't. And I, and I will say to you too, I, I know of somebody that, exercises and she is thin and she is young and she is beautiful. Truly beautiful. She doesn't feel bad about herself because when she was young, her dad told her that she was pudgy and that she wasn't pretty. You need to fix your hair. It was always negative, negative, negative. And even though if you loo k at her today, you would be like, oh my God, you're gorgeous. How, how are you so negative about yourself? How are you, y o u know, doing all these things to your body that you shouldn't maybe do, because you're already gorgeous that you need to do because you' re alr eady gorgeous. It's that inner...what, what somebody told you when you were young, that sets you up for life, that's really hard to get past. And it can even be yourself telling yourself that I don't see you as anything but strong, confident, and beautiful, but that doesn't change how you feel about yourself. And that is so powerful. Even though you can look in the mirror and see yourself one way and other people see yourself another way, and they could tell you, and they could show you, right. You still carry that thought process of what somebody else told you, who you were at a young age.

Stasha: 31:55

And, and I want, I want the listeners to hear something that you just said, which I think is so important. You know, when you look at somebody and say,"oh my God, how could you think that about yourself? How could you think, you know, that you're unattractive or fat or whatever. You just came back with like you knew something about her past, you know, some of that, why she thinks that way?

Cheryl: 32:14

Well, I asked her one day, I straight up asked her. I said, you are gorgeous. Why are you always negative about yourself? Why are you always worried about eating five Graham crackers? Why is that such a big deal? Why are you honed in on that? And she admitted that. And I'm like that is the issue that you need to deal with then. You don't need to be changing yourself. You need to deal with that specific issue that you've been carrying around with you and that you have allowed that person to make you feel that way.

Stasha: 32:51

Well, and she trusted you with that information. And she took the, the information that came back to her, what she, what you said back to her. I think like there've been people who've said that kind of stuff to me, it's like, oh my God. Why do you think about yourself? That way?" I wouldn't no more tell them why I was like that, that I, that I would give them a million dollars because I don't trust these people. I don't trust their motives. I don't trust how they talked. I don't, because I've heard them say the things. And again, all people who have worked hard to be fit and have equated being fit with being thin all their life, and especially those who have failed at it, they, they can tell the difference between a person who is genuinely asking a question about why you think that way and somebody who is basically, it's, it's this roundabout left-handed way of saying"you are just fucking it up still. You're just still fucking up because you're doing it... because, you know, you look great to me. I think you look great. Therefore, why aren't you, blah, blah, blah." So people who are like that, they'll say, oh, well, you know, but this person actually told you, here's why I know why I do this. And, and I don't want to put words in her mouth. Cause I don't, I don't know who we're talking about, but I do know people who've been like that. And they'd be like, I'm not going to trust this person who I've heard making the fat jokes, who I've heard saying things about, you know,"oh my God, I went to the beach and there were so many fat people on the beach. And you know, I w as like, o h God, I c an just s ay home. I don't n eed t o see that. It's so everywhere. Those jokes are everywhere. And so for a person who's trying to be fit and is overweight, not only are you carrying the physical weight with you, you're carrying this emotional load and this mental load, that's three, f our, a hundred times heavier than your body fat.

Cheryl: 34:54

Yeah. And it's one of the reasons, another reason I'm drawn to CrossFit because when you go to like a public gym and you're just working out yourself, you know, and some people great, good. I I'm, I'm one of those people who can work out by myself and do it every single day. And I don't need somebody else encouraging me, but there's a lot of people who need that class. And I love the class aspect too. I could do both or, or whatever. But another thing that CrossFit does that I think other places may not do is when, when you're, when you're the first person and you're done, then we go back to encouraging the people that are still working out. We don't start putting our equipment in a way, you know, cause now we have to clean everything because of COVID we literally go to those other people and encourage them to finish because you don't know how somebody woke up that day. You don't know how they're feeling and I'm straight up, you know, I'm like, damn, this is a 24...we only have 24 minutes. Today's workout. We only have 24 minutes to do this? Are you freaking serious? You need to keep the clock running in case I'm still going at 24 minutes.

Stasha: 36:14

Yeah. Here's what you're going to do to fix this, to make things better for me.

Cheryl: 36:18

Yeah, exactly. You're going to keep the clock running. Cause there's no way I'm going to get all this done in 24 minutes. And he's like,"Cheryl, you're going to be fine." And I was, I was fine. But, but it's, it's that encouraging other people, not knowing where they are in their head, how they woke up that morning. You know, sometimes we wake up--talking about p erimenopause and all that shit we go through-- we haven't slept. We have low energy. I drank too much the night before. What I heard is, that's why I say, i f you are getting out there and doing something you've already won, yes. You have already won the day.

Stasha: 37:00

And the key to me is, it's like, are you enjoying it? You know, when I like, when I go on my walks, it's like, cause you know me, I'm a podcast girl. I like listening to podcasts. And I listen to podcasts on everything from politics to, social media, to learning about business, to museums, t o, to all of the things that I a m interested in. So I'm o ut on my w alk. I got my headphones in. I'm just like b opping around. But the weather is good. I live in a great place. I enjoy, I enjoy that, that time. And some mornings I might have 30 minutes, some mornings I might have an hour. And if I have my hour, I take my whole hour. That feeling of I'm outside, I'm getting sun. I am.. I can do the thing that at one point I'm not g oing t o be able to do, you know, right, right. Now m y, my mother-in-law who is in her nineties, she used to be like the most avid walker. I mean, the woman could just like put some miles on her tennis shoes and she's now 90. She's still the same person she always was, but I'm sorry, but at 90, you are not going to be able to do t he same th ings y ou can do at 55. So if you feel like, you know that you're falling apart now, well at 90, it's going to be a real bitch. You have to do something to try and maintain yo ur, your, your physical presence an d y our physical strength and all of this kind of stuff. And you know, and I do appreciate when people go like Google, it's like, you know, okay, well, what can I do? And I will tell you ladies, who do do that, just brace, you know, go ahead and pour yourself a stiff drink before you start doing it. Because these absolutely insulting sons of bitches, on Google, on the Google, who will sit there and say,"oh, you know, women in their fifties just need to like, you know, eat less and exercise more." I'm like, do you think s he's skipped between age 15 and 50? You think she missed all of that? She knows when women i n the fifties k now they need to exercise, lift weights, do some cardio. Nobody's telling you anything you don't know. What I think people are missing now, is they've got to talk to that person. Talk to their head and to their heart and say it's like, okay, you know, the kids are grown or if you don't have kids, it's like, you know, your, your, your c areer i s where it needs to be. Or you're looking to move to the next thing. There are phases in life and you're in this phase right now, but that 80 year old phase, 85, 90, unless something horrible happens between now and then is coming.

Cheryl: 39:34

It's coming.

Stasha: 39:35

And that's why I think it's so important to be fit in your fifties.

Cheryl: 39:40

And I think we also need to carve out that time and then keep it. You know, don't let somebody talk you out of, or rob you of that time or make you feel guilty for taking that time. I, my husband would say,"well, when are you coming into work? Half the half the day's already over with." And I'm like, yeah. And that's okay. I've already done a, B, C, and D. It doesn't matter. As long as I'm getting my work done, why does it matter to you what time I get there?

Stasha: 40:10

Right.

Cheryl: 40:11

You know, and I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna help you do a, B, C or D at nine o'clock. You know that my classes at night. And then I do my hour of running afterwards. I stick to that.

Stasha: 40:25

Right.

Cheryl: 40:26

Don't try to call me. Don't try to rob me at that time. You know, that is my time I carved it out. I've earned it. I've raised four kids. I raised my grandson for part of his life. This is my time. And I'm going to take it. And by God, I'm not gonna let anybody, you know, guilt me in to doing something else. Yeah. That's another thing you have to, you have to make the time for it that suits your body, suits your energy level. And then that is your time. Don't give it to anybody else.

Stasha: 41:00

Yeah. And I, and I do think that is probably one of the things that, the physical aspect, you know, I think most people can get past the, the physical side that they can find a workout that will work for them. They can find walking or water aerobics or weightlifting or CrossFit or whatever. They can find that. But there aren't a lot of people out there who are coaching you on that mental game of saying, you know what? I know all of these people are accustomed to having me at their beck and call, but I get my hour. So you have the mental toughness and the assertiveness and all these different things we've talked about before to be able to say to somebody,"no, we're not going to do that now. You c an sit over there and be mad if you need to, go knock yourself out. You know, fine be mad. But just so you know, your being mad is not g oing t o affect me doing this thing for me one bit. And if I get to the end of it and you're still mad, well, then I might go do something else because I don't need that shit. I am not here to, to basically deal with y our mad.

Cheryl: 42:03

Right.

Stasha: 42:04

You deal with your mad. That's for you.

Cheryl: 42:06

And you have said before that you have to get to where you can be okay with people being upset with you. And that's another thing I think we learn as we get older, we all make mistakes, right? And then we need to own those mistakes. Apologize and move on.

Stasha: 42:26

Yeah, absolutely.

Cheryl: 42:28

Let's move the fuck on.

Stasha: 42:30

Well, I'm going to ask our last question then. So, and so here's our last question on this topic. If you help our listeners really hear one thing from you about being fit in your fifties, what would it be? What's, what's the one thing you would hope that our, our, our women, our girls are taking away from you.

Cheryl: 42:49

First of all, it's essential to do something for yourself that benefits your health and wellness as we move into these later years of our lives. It's so, so important. Like you said, the 80, the 90 year old, it's so important for us to have that base to go into those years as fit as we can. And, and you have to be comfortable with where that fitness level is. You have to decide what works for you. You can't put that on somebody else."Well, I didn't have somebody to walk with today. So I didn't walk" No. Or"I wanted to watch the sixth season of Walking Dead. So I didn't walk." That's another thing. Quit making excuses, get your ass out there. Do what works for you and make sure you do it. And you don't have to work out seven days a week. I know that's extreme, but that's what my body is used to. I can handle that. You have to decide what works for you. How many times a week are you going to work out? What are you going to do that you enjoy and that challenges your fitness level? And own i. Do it. Don't let anybody take it away from you. And then there you go. You're, you're setting yourself up to be okay later on in life. And that's really important for women, any woman at any age, but especially our age.

Stasha: 44:14

Yeah. I would say that along with that, I would say, you know, whatever you can commit to do, commit to doing it. If you can commit to doing five, five minutes, you know, four days a week, and that's where you're starting, start there. It's five more minutes than you did last week. You know, whatever that thing is. But I would say that, that for me, if, if anybody take away one thing from me, it's really to that person, that woman who has, who really has internalized the idea that, that physicality, doing physical things--whether it's working out or exercising or whatever--is punishment, that it's body hatred, that it's just this awful thing that you have to do, even though you hate it in order to be accepted and loved. What I think the most important thing to do is before you like walk that first step or pick up that first weight or whatever it is, to put that weight down first. People are not going to accept you. There are more people in this world who think that, who will look at you and think that you're overweight and think there's something wrong with you. Think that you're lazy. Think that, you know, you just don't try. Think you're not trying hard enough. Acknowledge that those people exist. And then look up and say, fuck you, I'm going for a walk. Or I'm riding my bike because, and I'm going to do whatever I enjoy. And if I want to go to the beach and if it hurts your eyes, well, then that's on you. I hope you suffer. I think that so many women who are so smart and so intelligent and so hardworking have really suffered under this idea of fitness. That somehow it's a moral thing. It's like, it's not, it's not moral. It's not intelligence. It's just do. Just do something.

Cheryl: 46:01

Just do something. And, and I think we can wrap our brains around, we turn it into, this is something that we're doing that's good for us. That is for us. And, and you know, if somebody is actually doing that to you, that says more about that person than it does about you. So that, that's another way to dismiss those people who might say something or, you know, inadvertently...

Stasha: 46:32

Oh, they'll never say that to you. It's just out. They'll say it about someone else. And here's the thing. If they're saying it about someone else, they're saying about you.

Cheryl: 46:42

It's the whole, how you treat a waiter or waitress is how, you know, it's your view on how you treat people in general, right?

Stasha: 46:52

Exactly.

Cheryl: 46:53

It's that same thing.

Stasha: 46:55

So both, so physical fitness is what we're talking about today. This has been our topic today and it's an important one. But mental, emotional fitness is part of it. And w e'll maybe we'll pick that up as another topic. W e'll might say, how do you get to like emotional fitness? How do we get to mental fitness. By the way, speaking of that, do you know what's on deck for our next topic? According to our outline here?

Cheryl: 47:14

I do not please share it with me.

Stasha: 47:18

I've got the paper, ladies and gentlemen, looking at it right here. According to this, our next episode is about finances.

Cheryl: 47:26

Finances. Okay. That's one I'm actually confident in. Alright, honey. Next week it's all about money, honey. We don't know what aspect of money yet. We'll, we'll come up with something. All right. So warrior Queens get out there and do something. And oh, one more thing I want to end on because I hear people say this too. Well, I have to be in shape in order to do CrossFit, or I have to be in shape to do that, aerobics class, or I, you c ould h ave said, I need to be t hinner to get into a bathing suit to go to this water class. Don't do that either. Oh my God. Get out there. Love yourself enough that you're going to do this for yourself. That benefits you and quit fucking caring about anything else.

Stasha: 48:16

Right. And know that, you know, here's the thing you do love yourself. You, you do. You just keep being told that you shouldn't. And it's like, you know, go, go with having a great time. The water feels good, ladies. It felt so good to get in that pool. Oh my God. And to do those exercises and you know, I swear to God, next time, I'm going to get with hat capsule, those little bathing caps. And I want one little flowers on it. I'm going to go all in girl. I'm going all in on this old lady aqua zoomba class,

Cheryl: 48:45

You need this then. Post pictures up to our Facebook page. So listeners, if you want to follow us, go to our Facebook and our Instagram page for The Point of the Matter and like our page and you'll get updates and you'll find out what's going on the next week. So that's a good way to stay in touch with us as well.

Stasha: 49:08

Exactly. Because we like these ladies, the warrior queens. I think we're sticking with that.

Cheryl: 49:14

I think it's easier to say. It's easier to say than warrior goddesses. That's really perfect. So warrior queens. I like it. It's done.

Stasha: 49:21

Let it, let it be said, let it be done. All right, everybody we'll catch you all later. Thank you so much for being part of our podcast and for listening to us, we love you and we appreciate you and we will see you next week.

Cheryl: 49:33

Bye everybody.